Nov 16, 2010


Topic: Write two monolouges (300 - 450 words each) about two characters who are in love but cannot express it to each other.

  By Jaza Aquil

He is my son. Of course I love him, I love him more than I love myself, more than my own father loved me. Of course I love him. Except he fails to see that, he fails to understand that I love him, much, much more than his mother. She thinks she knows what is best. She believes herself to be some philosopher, fancies herself psychic, she is nothing but an emotional fool! He is my son; I know what is best for him. Art and literature is no future for a man. I am but an old man. Have I not all my life worked day and night, hour after endless hour at the office? I paid for his education not just in money but in blood and sweat. How can I let my son, my only son die of poverty, starvation after my death? All I ask is for hi future. All I ask is for him to be successful. To be an engineer, to be what I had always aspired to be. Destiny took my ambition from me. It snatched my father’s money leaving us on the roads. My father forced me to abandon my studies to work in that tiny cabin, he called his shop. I sold the dingy room, the minute he died! Now I was wise. I invested in the right places. Saved enough. All my life I spent and allowed my wife and son to spend only as much as was necessary. So what if all his friends had a fancy car? So what if his sister wanted extravagant clothes? They weren’t needed. The old car and her plain clothes, served the purpose just as well. Was it not wise of me to not relent under their pleas that we can “afford” it? I saved that money for his college tuition money. I saved that money so my son would get a university education, make me proud and become an engineer. And now what do they want? All three of them, him, his mother, his sister want me to throw all those dreams I have for my son and let him study art and literature. Nonsense! Rubbish! That’s what it is. What good is all this bullshit? Will it help him earn a living? Will it able him to place bread on the table? No. a waste of time it is. All this love and war, and grief and nature and oh what not! And when I refuse they say I don’t love him. Of course I do. I cannot hug him or cry to show my love. Such displays of affection are a sign of weakness. And I am a man. And I love him like a man does his son. I should not have to go say it to him.

I cannot believe my father. All I ask from him is the right to do what I want with my life. And he calls me ungrateful. Says I am not thankful to him for all he has done for me. He says I take him for granted. It is appa who aspires to be an engineer not I. it is she who is ambitious, who wishes to study physics and chemistry and math. Ugh! I shudder at the very thought of them! I cannot do these subjects. It is not that I don’t wish to make him proud. He is my father and I love him. Possibly more than he has ever loved me. I understand him more than he does me at least. What sort of love is this? All our lives I have seen my mother, my sister and myself sacrifice little joys of life. Even when we could afford the second hand car I wanted he refused to give it. Why? For the future he said. What future? Whose future? I cannot pay him back for all that he has done for me by forcing myself to do something I am bound to fail at. It is appa who wants it. But he wouldn’t give it to her. Why? Because she is a girl. All our lives I have sacrificed to make him happy. Nut not this. Not this I won’t. Writing is my passion and I am actually good at it. I won’t have time for it at an engineering college! And I love him. I want to tell him I love him. But each time I look up to him to say thank you for all that he has done for me; he shuts me out with his stony eyes. His harsh words, despising any expression of love and gratitude. His so called ‘manly’ ways force me to swallow down my love and emotion for him. I have always been a disappointment to him, I know I have. Appa should have been his son and me his daughter. He is my father and I love him. But if being an engineer is the only way I can tell him I love him then I had rather not. I hate hurting him. But all my life I have sacrificed and will not now. He is my father. I love him. I wish he loved me just as well.


Lynette Rodrigues said...

wow i loved it..It is very emotional and it has a lot of conflicts which can be seen in everyone's life if we really look around...good job :)

carol said...

i second what lynette says :)
it was really touching and alot of ppl can relate to it these days:D
awwweeesome jaza!

Fatin said...

Good job J ;)

Asad said...

This is actually more saddening than most stories on this blog about death and horrible things happening to people because it's the truth. I know a few people going through this. :(

Well written though! :D

Jaza said...

Thanku all :)

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