Nov 16, 2010


By Souha Khan

The gravel crunched under the car tires as it pulled up to Devil’s Point. Regret washed over me. Why had I agreed to come here with my friends?
Everyone got out of the car, a look of excitement clear on their faces.  It had no effect whatsoever on me. We climbed up the rocks and sitting down, legs hanging over the edge, I saw two little girls, running around on the beach collecting shells. The sight took my thoughts back to one very similar day.
The sun had been shining bright as my sister and I had collected shells to see who got the best one.
“Look!” she exclaimed jumping up with joy, “I see a white one right there!”
We darted towards it, splashing the water on our way. I reached it first.
“It’s the prettiest of them all!” I gasped in amusement bending over to pick it up.
However the smile on my face disappeared the minute I turned around. The shell slipped through my fingers as I looked at the man standing behind my sister pointing a gun at her. He motioned for me to come to him and without objecting I obeyed. He dragged us to the rocks where there stood another man holding a gun to my mother’s head. They snatched the car keys from my father’s hands and forced us to get in the car. I felt the man’s fingers digging into my arm as he held it. He had turned to me and had placed the gun to my temple. The metal had felt cold against my skin much like the breeze felt right now.
“What’s wrong?” asked one of my friends, concerned.
“Nothing” I replied, looking at the girls joyfully collecting shells on the shore.


Sana Rizwan said...

This is brilliant. I loved it.
The ending was fantastic.

Fatin said...

This was so intense. I LOVE IT.

Asad said...

Some of your sentences are infested with redundant commas, though. You could probably chop them up into smaller, neater sentences. That would probably make them flow better, too.

Quratulain said...

Love itt, so sad yet scary at the same time!

Souha said...

Thanks everyone! Especially for the advice Asad. I'll work on that.

Alisha Sethi said...

I really liked it! :)

Post a Comment