Oct 27, 2012


By Umrat Khan

Write an exchange in dialogue between a psychiatrist and a patient.

“Knock knock”

“Edmond? You again?”

“You didn’t respond to the joke I was about to tell you. You’re not paying attention to me! Nobody ever…”

“I apologize, Edmond. Who’s there?”

“No. You’ve ruined everything! I was in such a good mood before I walked in and you ruined it.”

“Well, I’m sorry. However, it was surprising to see you as we have already completed our sessions for this week.”

“The time you give me is insufficient.”

“Now, now, Edmond. All my patients are given the same attention and the same amount of time. You are the only one for whom I’ve been making an exception.”

“Because I’m crazy, right? I’m to needy, right? That’s what the last one said. Oh Edmond, what’s wrong with you? You’re so clingy. Blah blah. I hardly count calling every two hours and showing up at her work place as ‘clingy’!”

“Edmond you declared she was dead, whilst she was actually on a business trip to London. “

“She wasn’t answering her phone! It’d been fifteen hours! What was I supposed to think?”

“Her parents bought a casket, Edmond.”

“Well, people normally take some time to mourn. Who told them to be so efficient?”

“Never mind, Edmond. We’ll deal with your aggression towards your previous psychiatrist when we have a scheduled session. Now, is there any reason for your surprise visit?”



“I…I needed to see something.”

“See what?”

“See if you’d be there if I’d need you.”
“Edmond, I’m your psychiatrist. I can give you guidance and advice. I can help you overcome your qualms and apprehensions, but in an orderly fashion. I can’t put your needs above my other patients.”

“So that’s it? You think you can leave me? Just like that?”

“I’m not leaving you, Edmond. Our next session is on Monday. We’ll discuss everything then.”

“I’m afraid not, doc.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought you were different doc. I thought you got me. But you’re just like the rest. Aren’t you?”

“Edmond, don’t be silly. I’m always here to help. I just don’t appreciate these unannounced visits, which I seem to be getting quite often from you lately.”

“So now you don’t like me coming over to your office?”

“This is ridiculous. Good night, Edmond. See you on Monday.”

“Why’re you in such a hurry to get home? Oh, I get it. You don’t want to give me time. You don’t want to help me. You never have.”

“Edmond, it’s late. I need to get home and you should be on your way as well.”

“It’s happening to me again! You’re not taking me seriously! No one ever takes me seriously!”

“I do Edmond, I do! However this can be dealt with later. Now, good bye…..wait. What’re you doing?”

“I can’t let you just walk out on me.”

“Edmond, you’re scaring me.”

“It’s the only way to get you to…”

“Edmond…put…the…knife down.”

“I can’t.”

“Stop! Or I’ll call the police!”

“Now you’re threatening me?! Is this what everything’s come down to?”

“Edmond, you need to calm down and think for a second what you’re doing here.”

“I thought you understood me.”

“Edmond, you’re hurting me! You need to stop! I’ll listen to every word you say! I’ll try harder, just please let me leave!”

“I don’t think I can, doc. I can’t let that happen.”

“Edmond! Stop this please! Please! Oh God! Please, I won’t leave you Edmond! Please! Just listen to me!”

“I’m sorry, doc. But I need to finish this before you do.”


Fatin said...

Was this homage to Freaky Friday? The guy reminded me of him.

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