Sep 23, 2010

The Hotel

Assignment: Write the opening chapter of a novel called 'The Hotel'. Introduce the reader to three different characters who do not know each other as yet but will do so later. In your writing you should try and establish differences between them and possible reasons why they might meet. 

By Amber Raza

                       Crystal had never travelled before. She had always wanted to, but the demands of her business had always kept her busy. She had seen all there was to see in her hometown, the sights, the lights, the food and the men. Especially the men. Sometimes she liked them, sometimes she didn’t. But her answer was always yes. There was a lot of competition in the city, and her ‘boss’ did not like that at all. Lots of younger, prettier girls running around the streets of Bangkok was not very promising for the business, and this displeased him. Crystal knew better than anyone that when the boss was displeased, it meant that someone usually got hurt. That was why Crystal needed all the clients she could get.

                        So she hiked up her already short skirt, checked her makeup in the side view mirror of a car, and as she made her way to the hotel bar, she hoped against hope that tonight’s client did not have any weird fetish..

                        Michael lay slumped on the counter at the hotel bar, a shot of whiskey clutched tightly in his hand. His eyes were blood shod and swollen, and he struggled to down the glass that would help him enter into a state of blissful oblivion, far away from the unbearable pain of it all.

                        “Hit me with another.” He slurred to the barkeep, as he sensed the presence of someone sliding into the stool next to him. He smelt her before he heard her, so overpowering was the smell permeating from her. As the aroma of the cheap perfume invaded his nostrils, he was taken back to the night he had spent in the hospital, with his wife. He had hoped and prayed that all was not lost, but the doctor’s solemn response had shattered his soul forever.

                        “We tried to remove as much of it as we could, but the cancer had spread too far into her bones for us to be able to do anything. I suggest you say your goodbyes.”

                        And he had. He had bade her farewell, as if to a friend who was going on a long journey, and in some ways it was. He had kept a strong composure throughout the entire ordeal; he hadn’t even shed a tear at her funeral. But after it was all over, and the looks of pity were no longer thrown in his direction, he had locked himself in his house, and allowed himself to wallow in her loss. He had sat and he had cried. And when there were no more tears left inside him, he had decided to head down to a bar and drink himself into a stupor to help drown out the pain he was feeling.

                        And now, as the memories of his wife hit him from all directions, and he felt the half healed wounds begin to open up again, he drank. Another and another. As he lay there, with his head on his arm, and his vision slightly blurred, he was able to make out her long legs from the corner of his eye. He knew it was going to be a long night.
                        The arrival of the scantily clad woman had hardly been given a second’s glance by anyone, especially since they were in the city of Bangkok. Her presence had barely been acknowledged by the man sitting next to her, and the people at the bar were mostly involved in their drinks. Save for one man. One man sitting quietly in the shadows, to whom the woman’s presence had not gone unnoticed. One man who had stayed sober the entire night because he knew that what he had to do that night would require him to be in control of all his senses. He had to be careful this time. The police had already begun an investigation on those three girls that had gone missing. He knew that it was only a matter of time before their bodies would be found. Oh yes, he needed to be very careful this time.

                        As he watched her long legs, and the way she used her long red fingernail to stir her drink, he heard the sound of the laughter that had always haunted him. The sound emanating from a woman similar to her, laughing at him, his impotence; relishing at the sight of his humiliation. She hadn’t been laughing when he had grabbed her throat in a tight chokehold. And she was most certainly not laughing when he had dumped her lifeless body into a dumpster in a dark alleyway. The other two girls after her hadn’t laughed at him. But he knew that they would have eventually. They were all the same. Better to not give them a chance. So they had to go too. And besides, he liked the power of being in control, it gave him purpose, meaning. He watched as the man and woman downed their shots, one after another. The other people in the bar were starting to clear out. His time loomed nearer.

                        He decided that if the man had not risen and left before the bar had emptied out, he would have to be taken care of too. There was no use taking a risk and leaving a potential witness walking around, no matter how drunk he was.

                        The man’s fingers itched to wrap themselves around the woman’s soft neck. At last, he could take it no more. He got up from his seat in the corner, and lightly patted the bulge of his revolver, hidden deep inside his coat. He slowly edged out of the shadows, and made his way to the counter. The time of reckoning was here.


Annoushka said...

FWAH!! This is something else!! I absolutely love this!! I didnt wanna stop reading this and...and just wow...I could die happy just by reading this -*.*-

hats said...

great work!
im definitely intrigued enough to want to read on............
this is hadia btw

Aleeha Badat said...

This is really good, Asad. Very interesting.

Anonymous said...


Fatin said...

Amber! I love all your stories!

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