Sep 10, 2010

The Hotel

Assignment: Write the opening chapter of a novel called 'The Hotel'. Introduce the reader to three different characters who do not know each other as yet but will do so later. In your writing you should try and establish differences between them and possible reasons why they might meet. 


By Asad Zaidi

There was common courtesy and then there was taking things too far. Walter had had to stand there and shake hands with each of the hundred-odd businessmen as they had filed out of the conference hall. His cheeks still hurt from maintaining his smile all that time. But then again, he thought, with great power comes great responsibility. What a pity such fine words had been wasted on a comic book. 

Walter ran a hand through his short-cropped, prematurely graying hair. His mind was wandering; he was exhausted. But the meeting was over. It had been a success. Perhaps now he would be able to look in the mirror again without seeing dark circles around his steel gray eyes. 

He unbuttoned his coat and loosened his necktie. He was informed by an electronic voice that he had reached his floor. Walter Bishop stepped out of the elevator and out to the bar of the hotel. Tonight he would treat himself to a drink or two. 




Walter set aside his glass which was now devoid of champagne. Wearily, he surveyed the crowd at the bar before sighing in distaste. It was the typical 'posh hotel' crowd. The men all wore Armani suits and sported Rolexes on their wrists and the women... Oh, the women. Inches of makeup plastered on their faces, they displayed an offensive amount of skin and wore enough gemstones to feed a small town for a whole week with. Obviously, none of these people had started from nothing, from scratch. Obviously, they did not value hard work and the wealth they possessed. Sighing again, he let his eyes wander across the bar once more before he made to leave. They were met by those of a woman. 

She was breath-taking and it was electrifying, the eye contact. She really was beautiful and it was all natural - she wore almost no makeup save for the lipstick that painted her lips scarlet. Black locks of wavy hair cascaded down to her shoulders where in blended with the black dress she was wearing. It had a high neck, Walter noted with approval. Here was a woman with some dignity, some self-respect. She smiled serenely at him and raised her glass, first at him and then to her lips. 

His heart fluttered. Clenching his fists, he made an effort to resist the sudden urge to smooth out his hair. Indecision tore at him. He could not make up his mind. Should he go introduce himself?

A man glided over to the woman, wineglass in hand. Walter saw her hair be tossed aside as she turned to face the newcomer and saw her dark eyes widen as they fell on him. Where she was beautiful, he was handsome, in that boyish, carefree way. And he was tall.

Walter's insides squirmed in frustration. 

"Damn tall people," he muttered. He needed another drink.





On an important night like this, Monica Fairstone would normally have politely turned away any 'distractions' that chose to seek her company. This man - Daniel as he had introduced himself as - was an exception, however. He was gorgeous. She had lost all her focus as soon as he had approached her with his twinkling blue eyes and perfect white teeth. 

Conversation with Daniel, however, was rather dull. He liked cars. He liked them a lot. The young man went on and on about his personal collection. Obviously, he was from a wealthy family. 

"And so this new Porsche I am looking to get soon..."

Monica glanced back at the man she was primarily interested in, only to see him glowering sullenly at her new companion and looking rather quite drunk. Interesting. Maybe she could use this situation to her advantage. She drained her sparkling water.

"Sweetheart," she said turning to Daniel. She lay her hand on his arm and smiled up at him. "Could you get me a drink?"

Once he was out of earshot, she whipped out her phone and dialed a number. 

"I have our man where we want him," she said. She paused then, listening. "I understand."

10 comments:

Amna Chaudhry said...

well written as always ^^ I loved how you developed your characters.

Pooja Lakhwani said...

I loved the small movements and descriptions you wrote about throughout your story - it managed to make a simple story into a grasping one. Walter's characterization was FANTASTIC =D these lines had to be favorite through:

Inches of makeup plastered on their faces, they displayed an offensive amount of skin and wore enough gemstones to feed a small town for a whole week with.

"Damn tall people," he muttered. He needed another drink.

The last sentence was the best - A real good cliffhanger.

Anonymous said...

I really like the way you describe the characters through action.the actions alone, say a lot.Other than that,i like your style of writing.real smooth.
maha

Aakash said...

Forget about biochemistry Asad, writing is your thing ;)

Zaariyah said...

Totally agree with Aaakash.

Annoushka said...

Whoa! This story made my heart beat faster Pooks!! Seriously, if this were a book, there would be no plan of mine to put it down anytime soon!

Mehrunnissa Katpar said...

Absolutely brilliant. Loved the descriptions and the build up.

hats said...

ur sooo true mehrunissa!

Lamia Fahim said...

thumbs up. :)

Najia said...

Very interesting characters! :)

Post a Comment