Jan 28, 2013

Anger: Calming the monster inside us!

By Hiba Fatima

Have you ever felt so angry at someone that you imagined killing them in the most brutal way you can? Have you ever been so frustrated, so exasperated, that all you ever wanted to do was to scream? Every teenager has felt this way at one point in their life or another. That's okay. Sometimes, people are just inviting you to high-five them. In the face. With a chair.

Says Mrs. Shernaz Darrah, Principal of Beaconhouse School System, Karachi, "It is alarming how I've been observing countless incidents of bullying at the school. Most of it primarily stems from the high school section."

Mr. Mehdiali Dharamsey, English Language teacher of the eleventh grade, further added, "My students- they are volatile. A discussion metomorphisises into an argument, an argument into a scuffle, and a scuffle into chaos."

That's what happens when you let anger culminate inside you. It cloud your judgement and may even force you to make decisions you will regret. Sarah Shahid, 19, told Top of the Pops magazine, "I ran away from home last year because I was seething mad at my mum for confiscating my cellphone. I came back three days later, but in those three days, I realized just how stupid I had been. My anger motivated me to act in the most destructive ways."

So what do we do about this crimson monster called anger?
We close our eyes, take a deep breath and tell him to calm down. There are many ways in which you can vent out your feelings without being violent or irrational. One great way to do this is through art. Painting a blank canvas with the colours of our choice actually helps us express our feelings. Sughra Azeem, an art teacher from Beaconhouse, told us how students automatically picked colours like red, orange and even black when painting while angry. "It helps you with intellectual development as well as anger management." she said.

You could write your feelings down in a journal. Mad at your friend, sibling or teacher? Write a poem about it. Perform it with all your emotion. Let your anger stimulate the creative juices in your mind to flow. If you love doing so, you might just be a slam poet!

If you really can't do anything but hit something when you're angry, then listen to this story of John Green, 17, from Sean Covey's book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers". Green, whenever he was furious, would escape to the basement of his house. He would pick up a hockey stick and a ball and hit the bare walls of the room for as long as it took to vapourise his anger. "Doing so did wonders for me." Green says. "I found a way to manage my anger, without hurting my family with the rudeness I usually showed." You could join Karate classes if you likes Mr. Green's story!

Another way to pacify yourself is by performing yoga. "Yoga requires so much attention that your mind is actually vacated of grief and anger because it is so focused on your posture." Ms. Maliha Subzwari, a yoga instructor at Body Beats, Karachi, told TP magazine.

Having greater control over your emotions makes you a more pro-active person. When you're angry, you're also confused. You focus on problems, not solutions. Solutions that your mind cannot emulate while your judgement is clouded. Every little thing other people do annoys you. That's why it's so important to learn how to manage your anger. Next time you're angry, try Dr. Fiza Shah's idea, "Breathe deeply, press your forefingers against your temples and just pretend to scream, with your mouth agape but voice silent." You'll feel lighter, happier and satisfied. All this because of one thing: anger management.


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