Dialogue

By Shafae Saleem

Encounter with an alien, writen in ping-pong styled dialogue. 

 

“Houston, come in Houston. Damn, the links are down. At least the recorder is still working.”

“My dear fellow, would you by any chance happen to be one of those humans?”

“Oh my God! What the hell?!”

“Oh dear, it seems I may have frightened you. I must tell you that I have no intention of bringing harm to you. So please calm down.”

“Houston, this is Bird, I have encountered an extraterrestrial. He appears to have a scaly green octopus-like body and walks on eight tentacles-”

“Please! I prefer to refer to them as appendages.”

“What?”

“I said, I prefer to call me legs, appendages. The word ‘tentacles’ just sounds so vulgar.”

“Um.”

“And my head isn't naturally round; this is my helmet so that I can breathe on the deadly atmosphere of this red, dusty planet. I must say your suit looks quite primitive, oh dear I hope you aren’t going into shock.”

“Houston, I've made contact with an alien life form and it speaks English in a British accent. One small meeting for a man-”

“And one huge meeting for mankind. Ah what a clever reference, my lad! Quite clever indeed! Unfortunately I have been blocking all of your broadcasts. I’m so terribly sorry about that.”

“Hey, what are you doing? Hey! Get away from me!”

“I’m so very sorry about this, I really am but I can’t allow you to leave with memories of this encounter. Please! Quit squirming and look into this light. Ah, there we go! Now, you will go back to your spacecraft and you will not remember anything about me. Is that understood?”

“Yes sir!”

“Ah good, very good my boy. Now, off you go. I hope we meet again someday.”