They're Made Out of Meat (Nebula Award winning short. Worth the couple minute read.)

By Terry Bisson

DISCLAIMER: This is not Original Inkistani Material, it is merely copied from http://imgur.com/gallery/3dx1vMw. All credits are due to the original writer for this fine piece of work.

Dialogue

By Shafae Saleem

Encounter with an alien, writen in ping-pong styled dialogue. 

 

“Houston, come in Houston. Damn, the links are down. At least the recorder is still working.”

“My dear fellow, would you by any chance happen to be one of those humans?”

“Oh my God! What the hell?!”

“Oh dear, it seems I may have frightened you. I must tell you that I have no intention of bringing harm to you. So please calm down.”

“Houston, this is Bird, I have encountered an extraterrestrial. He appears to have a scaly green octopus-like body and walks on eight tentacles-”

“Please! I prefer to refer to them as appendages.”

“What?”

“I said, I prefer to call me legs, appendages. The word ‘tentacles’ just sounds so vulgar.”

“Um.”

“And my head isn't naturally round; this is my helmet so that I can breathe on the deadly atmosphere of this red, dusty planet. I must say your suit looks quite primitive, oh dear I hope you aren’t going into shock.”

“Houston, I've made contact with an alien life form and it speaks English in a British accent. One small meeting for a man-”

“And one huge meeting for mankind. Ah what a clever reference, my lad! Quite clever indeed! Unfortunately I have been blocking all of your broadcasts. I’m so terribly sorry about that.”

“Hey, what are you doing? Hey! Get away from me!”

“I’m so very sorry about this, I really am but I can’t allow you to leave with memories of this encounter. Please! Quit squirming and look into this light. Ah, there we go! Now, you will go back to your spacecraft and you will not remember anything about me. Is that understood?”

“Yes sir!”

“Ah good, very good my boy. Now, off you go. I hope we meet again someday.”

Dialogue

By Abbas Murtaza

Write an exchange in dialogue between a psychiatrist and a patient.

“Doctor!”

“Yes?”

“I need your help, Doc! Desperately! People keep acting strangely around me. Things go wrong, they break and my friends are leaving and I feel so lost. I don’t know what’s going on. I think something’s wrong with me – I can’t remember anything.”

“Ah. Well, I am a psychiatrist. Sit.”

“You can help me! You see, they say it’s me. They point fingers, stare, shout, call names, and hurt me. At first, I thought they were crazy. But now, I’m not so sure.”

“You seem alright to me, Mister..?”

“I feel ok. I don’t know what to do, Doc. I feel like my life’s turned inside-out!”

“Tell me everything.”

“Who are you?”

“What?”

“This is unbelievable. A bloody shrink’s office, this is. I’ve been mugged! I can’t have that!”

“Are you ok? Sit down again.”

“You ugly ape! You freak! What are you doing to me?”

“Just relax. You told me you had a problem remembering…”

“I’ll kill you! No-one touches me. I’ll make your blood run free, your skin turn blue, and your body a hollow shell!”

“Put that down! Damn it, put that down!”

“Oh my God, Doctor! What just happened?”

“Stay away from me, you. Leave me alone.”

“These scissors! What was I doing with them?”

“You monster!”

“Who did this, Doctor?”

“You did this. This is all your doing. Leave me alone.”

“That’s crap. I came to you so you could help me.”

“Help me, Assistant.”

“I did nothing. Come on, Doctor, be reasonable.”

“…”

“Get up. Come on, take my hand.”

“Ok, then.”

“What are you doing? How dare you touch me with your hideous, sausage fingers?”

“ASSISTANT!”

“Die.”

“No, I....”

“Good riddance. Such a repulsive human-being. I’m going to stuff him in this closet while I find a way out. I hope his body rots in there, and starts crawling with a million maggots, slowly chewing, slowly, on the rot. That Doc just left me! Unbelievable. I come to him for help and he starts going looney in front of my eyes, then vanishes without a trace. What am I going to do now?”

“What’s happening?”

“Hello. You must be the Doc’s assistant. He left me here, you know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No worries. I’m Abbas. Abbas Murtaza.”

“Hello, Sir.”

“Please, have a seat. I could use someone to talk to right now.”

Dialogue

By Umrat Khan

Write an exchange in dialogue between a psychiatrist and a patient.

“Knock knock”

“Edmond? You again?”

“You didn’t respond to the joke I was about to tell you. You’re not paying attention to me! Nobody ever…”

“I apologize, Edmond. Who’s there?”

“No. You’ve ruined everything! I was in such a good mood before I walked in and you ruined it.”

“Well, I’m sorry. However, it was surprising to see you as we have already completed our sessions for this week.”

“The time you give me is insufficient.”

“Now, now, Edmond. All my patients are given the same attention and the same amount of time. You are the only one for whom I’ve been making an exception.”

“Because I’m crazy, right? I’m to needy, right? That’s what the last one said. Oh Edmond, what’s wrong with you? You’re so clingy. Blah blah. I hardly count calling every two hours and showing up at her work place as ‘clingy’!”

“Edmond you declared she was dead, whilst she was actually on a business trip to London. “

“She wasn’t answering her phone! It’d been fifteen hours! What was I supposed to think?”

“Her parents bought a casket, Edmond.”

“Well, people normally take some time to mourn. Who told them to be so efficient?”

“Never mind, Edmond. We’ll deal with your aggression towards your previous psychiatrist when we have a scheduled session. Now, is there any reason for your surprise visit?”

“Y…Yes”

“Well?”

“I…I needed to see something.”

“See what?”

“See if you’d be there if I’d need you.”

“Edmond, I’m your psychiatrist. I can give you guidance and advice. I can help you overcome your qualms and apprehensions, but in an orderly fashion. I can’t put your needs above my other patients.”

“So that’s it? You think you can leave me? Just like that?”

“I’m not leaving you, Edmond. Our next session is on Monday. We’ll discuss everything then.”

“I’m afraid not, doc.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought you were different doc. I thought you got me. But you’re just like the rest. Aren’t you?”

“Edmond, don’t be silly. I’m always here to help. I just don’t appreciate these unannounced visits, which I seem to be getting quite often from you lately.”

“So now you don’t like me coming over to your office?”

“This is ridiculous. Good night, Edmond. See you on Monday.”

“Why’re you in such a hurry to get home? Oh, I get it. You don’t want to give me time. You don’t want to help me. You never have.”

“Edmond, it’s late. I need to get home and you should be on your way as well.”

“It’s happening to me again! You’re not taking me seriously! No one ever takes me seriously!”

“I do Edmond, I do! However this can be dealt with later. Now, good bye…..wait. What’re you doing?”

“I can’t let you just walk out on me.”

“Edmond, you’re scaring me.”

“It’s the only way to get you to…”

“Edmond…put…the…knife down.”

“I can’t.”

“Stop! Or I’ll call the police!”

“Now you’re threatening me?! Is this what everything’s come down to?”

“Edmond, you need to calm down and think for a second what you’re doing here.”

“I thought you understood me.”

“Edmond, you’re hurting me! You need to stop! I’ll listen to every word you say! I’ll try harder, just please let me leave!”

“I don’t think I can, doc. I can’t let that happen.”

“Edmond! Stop this please! Please! Oh God! Please, I won’t leave you Edmond! Please! Just listen to me!”

“I’m sorry, doc. But I need to finish this before you do.”