The Confession

By Zoha Jabbar

Adam stared out the window. Through the grimy glass and the heavy iron bars, he saw the sky. How glorious the sky was, Adam missed it. He missed lifting his face up to the sunlight. He had not seen the outside world for a month. He was not allowed to leave his maximum security cell, with its claustrophobic walls, naked light bulb and the pungent stench of urine.

He heard Mr. Dawood clear his throat behind him, and Adam knew that the lawyer was impatient to begin, but he didn't care. He was still drinking in the sight of the rust-coloured sky.

"Adam, you only have an hour, if you don't talk to me now, you'll have to wait till next week." Dawood spoke softly, his tone was that of a man trying to be stern, but failing miserably.

"All I do is wait, Mr. Lawyer. A week more can't make it any worse than it already is." Adam responded calmly. So calmly, in fact, that Dawood broke into a nervous sweat.

"Adam, please. We're running out of time," he croaked.

Adam whirled around, his eyes flashing the way a knife does, in the sunlight.

"You wanna talk? Alright, let's talk, but you won't like what I've got to say, lawyer-man.," with this said, he grew visibly calmer.

"It was her birthday. We had gone to the theatre, her favourite musical was playing, see. We had been returning when it happened. She said to me, 'it was so nice of you to take me out, Adam,' and I couldn't say anything. Not one word, because all I do was stare at her. She was breathtakingly beautiful. Aphrodite herself. And the way the moonlight fell on her, my God! So, I stopped at the side of the road, near that abandoned restaurant, and asked if she wanted to go inside. 'It's locked, Adi. how will we get in?' she asked me. See, she consented to go in, and everyone knows what happens when a man takes a woman to an abandoned building. Consented. It wasn't rape. I'm an honest man.

"So anyway, we went in, and after we were done, I placed my hands around her fragile white neck, and crushed it. She couldn't scream, I was gripping her windpipe, see. And I watched her struggle, and waited for that peace to grip her face and body. That's all I wanted, peace for her. It helps me see that I'll find peace someday. I watched her.

"And I had continued watching, until she had gone limp in my arms. I left then, and turned myself in. I'm an honest man."

Adam finished his story, and earnestly looked into Dawood's wide eyes.

"Adam... I can't lie on the stand in court." Dawood said slowly.

"I know, lawyer, I know. And that's why I said you won't like it. I'm gonna plead 'guilty', see? And then I'm gonna ask for the death penalty. So you, Mr. Bigshot Lawyer Man, won't be able to keep your pristine reputation. But me? I'll get my peace."

Adam's eyes were perfectly calm as he said this, his passive face contrasting sharply with the lawyer's profusely sweating form. Adam smiled, a smile so beautifully composed, so charming that it raised the hair on Dawood's neck and arms.

"Yes, peace. And judging by your eyes, my friend, you could do with some peace too. I could help, after all, I helped her, didn't I?" Adam returned to the window and looked at the sky. How glorious the sky was.